You
by spooksfan08
Summary: Set after One Night Only and before The Difference. A minor argument with Harry makes Ruth think. Is she just living a half life or is she able to reach out and grasp what she has always wanted or has she skirted around Harry for too long? A rainsoaked confession and a slightly bemused Harry could lead to what she has always wanted if only she could stop analysing long enough.


**Disclaimer I do not own Spooks. I never have and I never will. Kudos and BBC own all. No copyright infringement is intended nor should it be inferred. This story is a strong T rated and set before my other M rated story, The Difference. I'd love it if you read that too. I was watching Castle on Alibi (in the UK) a couple of weeks ago and thought Ruth should have done this. I don't own that either, and this is NOT a direct copy of that episode, merely inspired by it.**

**You.**

Ruth pulled her winter coat around her as she hopped off the bus. She knew Harry would be annoyed if he knew she had taken the last bus, especially in this weather. She shoved her hands in her pockets and tried not to analyse what she was doing. It was so out of character for her to be doing what she was that she didn't think she would be able to work out what was going on in her mind.

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_Four Hours Earlier _

_"Harry." She stared at him as he replaced the phone on the handset. "You can't do this."_

_"I can." He regarded her cooly. "And you are needed on the Grid. Whatever our personal history."_

_"Our history? Our history" Ruth rested her hands on his desk as she tried and failed to keep her temper in check. She had no idea why Harry was the only man to be able to get her in such a state. She had always prided herself in being able to keep her temper. Since her return from Cyprus, Ros' visit to her bleak little safe house and Jo's death things had improved between them. Memories of late nights on the Grid sprang to mind, of sneaky cups of coffee laced with whiskey and tears of laughter as he regaled Fidget and Scarlet's latest misdemeanours. _

_"I am still your boss."_

_"And don't I just know it." She hissed. "Harry, Nightingale are serious. We know that. No one is denying that but if you ignore all the intel and allow this conference to go ahead."_

_"How the Hell am I supposed to stop it? Andrew Lawrence wants it. Apparently lightening doesn't strike in the same place twice."_

_"Oh doesn't it?" She hissed as their eyes met. She was momentarily relieved that the others were out on enquiries and checking in with assets. _

_"No." He breathed. "But lightening seems to know what it wants."_

_"Indeed." Ruth answered, not entirely sure they were talking about the trade conference and the Home Secretary's insistence of holding it in a hotel with known connections to criminal activity before the new owners had bought it. She turned on her heel as Harry swore. She debated going back in to continue their argument but the arrival of Lucas and Ros put paid to that._

_###########################_

Ruth pulled the coat tighter to her small frame as se negotiated the wind swept London street. She didn't care that the rain was quickly turning from a light drizzle into one of the worst rain storms the British summer had seen. Her hair was plastered to her face and she shivered violently as she slipped and half fell into a puddle at the end of Harry's street.

"Ruth!" She admonished herself. She had hoped to arrive at Harry's house in a half decent state. Now she resembled a drowned rat she worried the moment would be lost.

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Harry turned the television off as Scarlet curled up in her basket. The cats had long since settled on the armchair in the corner.

"Good night old girl." Harry smiled at the little terrier. "At least I know where I stand with you. Eh?"

Scarlet yawned before resting her had on her paws. She really didn't understand her human. He kept talking to her about another human but she had no idea who it was her human seemed to be obsessed with. She turned her back to him as Harry chuckled. He walked towards the hallway, turning lights off as he went. It was then he almost sensed another being on the other side of the door. A quiet knock woke him from his reverie. B_urglars and CIA hit squads don't knock. _

_"_Ruth." He stated as he answered the door. She looked up and stared at him but he made no move to let her in.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" He frowned slightly as he realised she was soaked to the skin.

"On the Grid."

"Oh what is it?" He rolled his eyes, certain that Andrew Lawrence had done something that required his attention when all he really wanted to do was go to bed.

"You said lightning never strikes twice and that at least it knew what it wanted."

"Did I?" He stepped back, trying to remember what he had said within her earshot. "I."

"You implied I don't know what I want. But I do. And I thought you knew that. I thought the last few weeks since the coffee and the chips and everything that you knew." Harry smiled slightly. "I'm babbling. I am aren't I?" She wound her ring around her finger as Harry smiled.

"A little bit." He stepped back and allowed her into his home. "Ruth slow down. Take a deep breath and tell me." He rested his hands on both of her shoulders as she met his gaze. "What do you want?"

"You." Ruth whispered. "I."

"Ruth." Harry was certain his heart had stopped beating in his chest.

"I want you." She pulled him towards her and kissed him with more passion than even she thought possible. Harry pushed her against the now closed door and kissed her back with equal passion before pulling away and resting his forehead against hers.

"Have you been drinking?" He smiled slightly as he saw her eyes fill with indignation.

"Stone cold sober." She answered honestly. "Actually. Stone cold about covers it."

"Ah yes." He kissed her as his hands slipped under her sodden coat and pushed it from her small frame. "We really should get you out of these wet clothes." He mumbled as she pulled his shirt open and began running her fingers between his shirt and his skin. He grabbed her hand and with more self control than he thought possible he held her hand away from his body.

"We don't have to do this." He held her gaze as she nodded.

"I know." She saw the same look in his eye she had run from almost four years earlier, the one she had promised herself she would never run from again. "Harry, I'm not running anymore." She slipped out of his arms and took his hand before turning towards his staircase. "I know what I want Harry. Do you?"

Harry smiled at her for a moment as she waited for his answer. He had waited so long for her to get to the point where they could admit they had feelings for each other he barely knew what to do. He glanced at their joined hands before nodding.

"Ruth." He whispered as he brought her hand to his lips. "I know. I've always known and I think you have too."

"We've waisted so much time. I."

"It doesn't matter." He kissed her fingers as her eyes fell shut. "Now, how about we get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold?"

"Good idea." She smiled as he led her upstairs. Somewhere in the background Scarlet lifted her head. The sound of an unknown voice would normally cause her to investigate but just this once she guessed her human could be trusted. Yawning she ignored the giggles and sighs coming from upstairs and fell into a dreamless sleep.

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A/N And thats all folks. Please review.


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